My wedding toast to the happy couple.
In my mother basket of tools, I discover a kaleidoscope, leftover from children’s play. As I turn it, different scenes come into view.
I see an angel baby with soft brown curls and luminous blue eyes. All mothers think their babies are beautiful, but Derek really was the cutest one you will ever lay eyes on. And he smiled all the time.
I turn the kaleidoscope and see a pleasant, sweet two year old, so easy to manage and a joy to have around. One day, things did not work out for him as he had anticipated. He stuck out his lower lip and muttered, “not fair.” I celebrated inwardly, glad to see a bit of fire.
I see a four year old with his big brother, Christopher teaching him how to play chess. Derek called it “chest” and we didn’t correct him. There is an image of a sister, desperately in need of someone to be in charge of. Derek always had a starring (or at least supporting) role in Lauren’s childhood creations.
I rotate the kaleidoscope and see an eleven year old. We have done the morning school drop-off for his siblings. As he and I drive to his school, Derek switches the CD to the musical CATS and we belt out Mungojerrie and Rumpleteaser and Rum Tum Tugger.
And then I see a middle schooler, obsessed with computer games. And a mother not clever enough to outwit him with controls. Pretty sure that mother bought a chain and lock for the computer cabinet. Who knew he was just practicing for his future career?!
Another turn and there is high school Derek, filling our house with friends and singing and piano. At his all boys prep school, he and some friends created their own club beside the serious academic clubs, The Happiness Club, because shouldn’t we all be happy?! I loved when they brought puppies to school during stressful finals week.
My hand rotates the end of the tube and I see Derek at the piano. It is six am on the morning we are driving him to college. He said that he had been awake all night thinking about what a great childhood he had, and now his childhood is over. His mom and dad both wiped away tears.
Another scene and there is college Derek, with a full beard and many nerdy friends. I loved when he would bring them home with him on holidays. I see him teaching himself computer science since that department lacked enough professors. He was also into philosophy classes so he could argue, I mean “discuss”, with these nerdy friends.
The kaleidoscope keeps turning and I see the man Derek, responsible and establishing himself in Seattle, in Chattanooga, and in Chicago. Everywhere he lives, he creates community, but I see it in his eyes: he is lonely.
The optical instrument rotates and I see Derek telling his mom he had a date with a girl and it went VERY well. His mom is careful not to ask too many questions but she is celebrating inwardly.
A few months later there is another scene. We are ate Jeremy and Lauren’s house in Chicago, celebrating my birthday. And Derek brings Hannah for us to meet. She has baked a basque cheesecake served with homemade raspberry compote. If you know me, you know I was impressed with such skill and confidence!
Another turn and I see our whole family together on a summer vacation. Hannah is along and is a delightful addition to our crew, entertaining the kids in teacher mode and ramping up enthusiasm for the soccer matches on TV. She had us all cheering.
The final kaleidoscope turn stops at current time: it is a wedding with a beautiful bride and happiness on the face of my tenderhearted son. I think I’ll just savor this scene for a very long time.
