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My Mennonite upbringing has prepared me to excel in all things domestic, particularly food.

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domestic goddess

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Biscuits and Baby Poo

October 11, 2020 Cindy Schlabach
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Today our granddaughter, Nora, celebrates half of her first trip around the sun. She and her ‘rents recently departed after a Chattanooga visit, leaving in their wake, honey sweet memories of days spent together. Adventures with this bright-eyed babe were just the tonic the doctor ordered for our weary souls.

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Our dogs loved having Nora in the house. They guarded while she slept and were her constant companions while she played. I feel certain that it had nothing to do with the faint smell of milk and baby poo that occasionally hung in the air around her.

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During the kids’ visit, our two favorite activities were our daily walks together and eating gorgeous food. Some days our four mile walk would commence before dawn, since Nora is an early riser and Larry often needs to don his doctor lab coat before the sky is streaked with light. Wrapped in the dark cloak of a chilly new day, we’d unashamedly plan our dinner menu to the cadence of our shoes slapping on the sidewalk.

On weekend days, our walks became midmorning strolls, followed by a swim or dip in the hot tub. We would feign surprise when we found ourselves outside Rembrandts Coffee or across the parking lot from Starbucks. Someone always managed to produce a wallet and a mask from a back pocket, and would go inside and get us all an order of drinks or treats. Sometimes we had to get creative with the mask.

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Last Sunday forenoon we were logging our miles, heading from Market Street Bridge up East Aquarium Way, toward the Bluff View Art District. Lauren, who always knows the best places to eat, no matter what city she’s in or the time of day, thought we should hang a sharp right onto Walnut Street, and make our way downtown to Maple Street Biscuit Co. on Broad Street. Of course we followed her advice and soon realized that we weren’t the only folks with this brunch idea; the hungry line snaked well out onto the sidewalk and down the street.

Larry and I, Sammy the Bernedoodle, and Nora, found an empty table on the street to wait while Lauren and Jeremy joined the masked line waiting to order biscuits. Miss Efficient devised a plan: they could order on line on their phones, and simply walk in and pick up when the food was ready. Soon we were noshing on tender, flaky, buttered biscuits dipped in spicy pepper jam or honey or sausage gravy, or with fried chicken, goat cheese or egg sandwiched between the top and bottom pieces. Sammy ate the crumbs that accidentally on purpose fell to the ground and Nora had a warm, frothy bottle of milk.

I was holding baby girl when I heard the telltale rumblings coming from her backside. I am sure you are aware that the one and only time you leave the house without a spare diaper is the one time you will need it most. Such was our plight as we quickly finished our biscuits. We discussed rolling the dice and just removing the offensive pamper and going without on the journey home. We also tossed around the idea of creating a make-shift diaper out of a blanket. We had another look and yes, there was a bit of “overflow” creeping up poor Nora’s back, seeping through her outfit.

We set off walking across Market Street Bridge, which has a Walgreen’s at the other end. Lauren and I took turns holding Nora straight out in front of us at arm’s length, since no one wants to cuddle a poo-covered baby, even a cute one. Some of us could not stop laughing and some of us were quite disgusted at the whole messy ordeal. With aching arms, Lauren dashed into the store for supplies while I spread a blanket outside on the sidewalk and stripped Nora down to her birthday suit. In a few minutes, all was repaired and restored and we walked back home. If memory serves me correctly, everyone needed a nap. Probably will be a while though, until we have biscuits again: too many memories.

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Happy 6th month birthday dear Nora! You’ve brought us such joy in your short life.

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